Shitparader

Thank You

shitparader — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 01:32:12 +0000

We here at shitparader.com would like to thank all the little tasteless scenefucks who read our humble little blog. We’d also like to thank the shitty bands that continue to pollute the airwaves, concert venues, and most of all the minds of the scenefucks that love to hate us. With that being said, who would like a sticker. We’re going to be making a couple batches for the bitches. So, if you hate us let us know and we’ll send you a free sticker saying how much you hate us. If you love us, and believe me there’s a lot more that love us than hate us, let us know and we’ll send you a sticker that says how much you love to hate the shitty music of today.

Jeffree Star Debuts at #122 on the Billboard Charts!!!!!!

shitparader — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 20:53:47 +0000

We here at Shitparader would like to take full responsibility for Jeffree’s embarrassing debut on the Billboard charts. Not only does his music and the album suck, America doesn’t give a fuck either. So whatever dumbfuck AR guy had the great idea to sign this idiot….. Go fuck yourself you unemployed idiot!!! Additionally, the 37 of you stupid prepubescent girls who bought this album, guess what??? You’ve been had!!!! Next time, either burn your money or give it to a homeless person…. Or better yet, send it to us so we can can get some merch! You’ll look a lot smarter. I’d say by next week this shit album is forgotten about and Jeffree Starts doing porn with Brandi C, cant wait! Congrats Shitparaders!!!!

RIP Crackhead

shitparader — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 16:11:56 +0000

DJ AM died….. Sorry to say it folks, but who gives a shit! The dude was a crackhead, plus he contributed to one of the shittiest songs in history, “Butterfly” by Crazy Town. Talk about taking a shit on a strap-on. Anyhow, people die all over the world everyday and nobody gives a shit. DJ AM gets all emo and gets down on some crack and people make it seem like it’s some sort of American tragedy. The man had a second chance at life and he pissed it away. Sorry, but I can’t feel bad for him. Don’t get me wrong, I feel bad for his family and friends but other than that it’s just another crackhead celebrity off the streets. Crack is Wack, don’t do it kids or you’ll end up dead in bed, shirtless, with a bag of crack on your crotch. What a champion, lets pay tribute.

Bad Music Combo Monday!!!!!

shitparader — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 17:42:21 +0000

Jeffree Star and The Millionaires are shitting all over the site today.

First up, the fierce Jeffree Star

I really don’t know what to say about this….. gir… gu… whatever the fuck this shmanski is! Long pink hair, lots of make-up, tattoos mommy and daddy paid for, and of course, music that sucks ! Enjoy the video below to see how big of a bitch this little girl is. Wish the guy would have beat his ass. In other news, I would like to thank Kevin Lyman for putting this amazing talent on the Warped Tour. Just one of the many reasons I refused to buy a ticket for the third straight year.

Now let’s spend a quick minute on the The Millionaires, and I mean quick!

They have something in common with the above referenced Jeffree Star, they love dick! They also love partying! One thing they don’t love: making good music! According to their Myspace page they’re signed to Decaydance Records, owned by yet another dicklover, Pete Wentz. With song titles like “Just Got Paid Lets Get Laid,” “Take A Shot,” “I Like Money,” and “Alcohol,” who would even consider listening to this shit. I just watched a Youtube video which will be posted below. I’m shitting all over myself. These skanks make Jeffree Star look like a musical genius. At about the one minute mark in the clip they ummm sing, “lets just fuck,” which gets a pop out of a group of 12 year old girls, awesome. Their parents should be proud. The Millionaires have been on Warped Tour all summer. Once again, thank you Kevin Lyman. They are known to lip sync and their tracking CD has skipped on multiple occasions. To sum this load of diarrhea up, the Millionaires fucking suck. They are three unattractive drunk sluts who are making a living playing the shittiest music possible. They will most certainly be “Shitty Band of the Year” and “Cum Dumpster of Year” candidates.

Old fuckers need to stop!

shitparader — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 23:52:06 +0000

What happens when 80s shitty cock bands realize they are about to be 50. They get back together and tour again…..horribly. Lets take a minute and review what they’ve done to us lately;

Brett Michaels of Poison: Got his own shitty show on VH1(Very Haggard 1). In turn giving this evil cunt exposure and made her famous for being a slut….

Tommy Lee and Vince Neil of Motley Crue: Both these fuckers made sex tapes of them fucking their significant sluts…

Axel Rose: What hasn’t this guy done to us…Chinese Democracy, the 2 words that we all have heard from this douche over the last 10 YEARS. Then when it finally came out it fizzled like a cum fart from the above photo.

Thats just a little taste of what we have to put up with from these asshats. Lets just say that when you have a bedazzled mic and mic stand that looks like you stole it from Beyonce, you need to just take the money that you made and back the fuck off! No one needs to listen to you try to act 25 again!

Bedazzled mics and tight acid washed jeans are so 1989

Now, I beg…plead….ask politely, don’t give these assholes anymore money. Force them to stop making horrible music and supporting the promotion of new versions of Cock Rock Fucktards!

Number one with a Bullet! BrokenCYDE

shitparader — Sat, 23 May 2009 03:38:24 +0000

So, first and foremost, welcome to Shitparader. Here we talk the shit we all want to about the shitty bands that pollute the scene today. You know you do it, we all do. I’m just as guilty as anyone….but I’m doing something about it.

First order of business:

Who the fuck is BrokenCYDE!?! Who the fuck gave them a record deal? Who the fuck thinks this is music? If there’s ever a need to sterilize and quarantine someone….its this fucking group of felchers! If you’re unfamiliar with them, here’s the pollution they are putting out there for the feeble minds that will be attending the Warped Tour this year…..

Much much more to come…As long as there’s shitty music being made(always is) we’ll be here talking the shit.

I REALLY need people to contribute or submit for this. There’s no names attached, just send me an entry and I’ll post it.

EMAIL ME AT: sh1tparader@gmail.com